XTREME FIGHTING TOURNAMENT CHAPTER 4: TWO DUDES ENTER, ONE DUDE LEAVES

Jimmy Lee was getting nowhere fast.

Robo-Pikachu couldn't be hurt by kicks or punches, and anytime he tried he
was shocked by a body-charge. Jimmy jumped out of the way of a giant
lightning bolt for the hundredth time, his arm being slightly burnt in the
process. Jimmy figured he had about another minute. After that he was either
going to be fried, or fall over from exhaustion.



Robo-Pikachu stopped attacking, and slowly clanked over to the middle of the
ring. Jimmy used the time to catch his breath, but then lost it again as he
saw RP charging huge amounts of energy.



Jimmy stood there, having no clue as to what to do next.

"Looks like this is it." Jimmy mumbled under his breath.

"HEY, JIM!" Billy Lee yelled from the crowd.

"I'M KINDA BUSY, BILL!"

"SHUT UP! REMEMBER JUMP KICK TARGET PRACTICE?" Billy held up a glass bottle.
"HIT IT!" Billy threw the bottle at the ring.

It seemed to Jimmy as if it was flying in slow motion.

"Oh well, why the hell not?" Jimmy said to himself. He waited for the bottle
to get to reach its highest point, then jumped as high as he could and
shattered it with a jump kick. When he did, the water that was in the bottle
splashed all over the ring, coating RP in the process.

"PIIIIIIIII. KAAAAAAAAAA. PIIIIIIII." Robo-Pikachu began shaking violently.



"PI. KA. CHU. BUL. BA. SAUR. CHAR. PI. MAN. CHU. YOU BETTER RUN. I'M GONNA
GET CHU." RP said in a disturbingly high voice. Jimmy entered a dead run to
the side of the ring, and jumped out just as Robo-Pikachu went nuclear. The
explosion utterly destroyed the ring, and knocked a few of the spectators in
the frontrow out of thier seats. When the light from the explosion faded,
all that was left was RP's legs.



Jimmy was slowly coming to the realization that he had won.

"I... did it." Jimmy said. As he did, every pokemon hater in the audience
began chanting his name. Suddenly it became apparent that, at least for the
moment, he was thier hero.

"Yeah!" Jimmy yelled, raising his arms.



"Ladies and gentlemen, it will be about a half an hour until we can replace
the ring. We apologize for the hold up, but we will continue with the
bloodshed ASAP." Dave said into his microphone.



"Now that we have replaced the ring, it's time for our second fight of the
night! Now entering the ring, the baddest knight in the rumble, Glenn!"

Glenn slowly walked into the open air arena, breathing in the fresh air and
waving at the crowd. He hadn't met Bowser, but he had heard a tall lanky guy
in green overalls in the backroom say 'Better him than me' and he was pretty
sure that wasn't good.

"And now, one of the first video game super villians. Mario's arch nemesis.
A reptile that needs no introduction, Bowser!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM BOWSER! SOON TO BE YOUR LORD AND MASTER!" Bowser, all
twelve feet, twenty thousand pounds of him, stomped into the ring. "QUAKE IN
FEAR, PUNY HUMAN, FOR I SHALL-"

"Vile dragon!" Glenn, flaring his green battle aura, ran at full speed
towards Bowser and slashed at his [its?] arm, nearly taking it off. "Your
evil ends here."

"WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THE HEROS?" Bowser grumbled. Bowser lashed out with his
claw at Glenn, who expertly dodged and slashed Bowser's face, missing his
eyes by centimeters.

"HEY! THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES!" Bowser screamed.

"No it's not." Dave said from the control room. "The only rules are no
killing, and no outside help, and we're even willing to bend those."

Glenn jumped, sword aimed at Bowser head, intending to take it off with a
sword-uppercut. Bowser leaned to the side and backhanded Glenn across the
ring. "WONDERFUL. AND PEOPLE CALL *ME* A PSYCHO."

"Enough, villian! Now you die!" Glenn, battle aura flaring again, shot an
energy wave a Bowser from his sword. Bowser blocked it, leaped at Glenn, and
knocked him across the ring with his tail.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WEAKLING! I BET YOU CAN'T EVEN TOSS ME AROUND!" Bowser
turned, pointing his tail at Glenn. "NYA NYA NYA! YOU LITTLE PUNK I DARE YOU
TO TRY IT! YOU LITTLE SHIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAGH!" Bowser screamed in pain, looked
behind him, and saw Glenn's sword run through his tail, Glenn still
attached. The next few minutes consisted of Bowser running around the ring,
screaming in pain, with Glenn holding on to his sword for dear life,
mumbling old-world curse words.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHG! GET OFF MY TAIL!" Bowser reached behind him,
grabbed the hilt of Glenn's sword, pulled it out and tossed it across the
ring, Glenn still hanging on. "OH, MY TAIL. MY POOR, POOR TAIL." Bowser was
cradling his tail like a mother would her sick child.

"Ha! That is what awaits all evil doers! Now prepare to meet your doom!"
Glenn charged at Bowser, intent on taking his head. When he was steps from
Bowser, he leaped in the air, and was knocked back by a straight punch from
Bowser.

[Ugh. Never... been hit like that before...] Glenn thought as he laid on the
mat. He opened his eyes just in time to see a large reptilian foot coming
down on him. "Oh, cra-" *CRUNCH*



"MY TAIL. MY BEAUTIFUL TAIL." Bowser said sniffling, as he walked to the
backroom.



Geese walked into the lounge, still fuming over the loss of his new
robo-toy. It was, of course, all Billy Kane's fault. Or at least that's what
Geese kept saying to himself. As he walked in he looked to the bar and
saw... her. She had spikey grey hair... beautiful eyes. It took all of
Geese's will power to not melt right there.

[All right. Time to try your luck. You can do it, Geese.] Geese slowly
walked towards her, keeping a straight face. He neared the bar, she hadn't
noticed him yet. He walked up to her, slowly passed her, and ran into the
men's restroom.

"Damn." Geese muttered. He looked under all the stall doors, and looked
around to make sure no one else was in the room, then looked at himself in
the mirror.

"You can do it, Geese. You're good looking. You're rich. What woman wouldn't
want you?" Geese reached into his pocket and pulled out some breath mints,
and downed one. "You, are just a love machine. You, are the life of the
party." Geese began struting, and flexing his muscles, grunting while doing
so. "You, are one of the most dangerous men on the planet. You shouldn't be
scared of some woman you never met. Now let's get out there and show'm."
Geese struted out of the bathroom like he owned the place.

"Chm... hm hm... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Happosai, who had been in one of the
stalls, began using up all the laughter he had been holding back for the
last few minutes. Sometimes, being so short that your legs don't dangle from
the toilet is very useful.

Geese walked right up to her, but by the time he got to her most of his
courage had disappeared. But he couldn't back down now.

"Um... excuse me?" Ryoko turned, seeing a blonde man in a loose white shirt
and long skirt. He was obviously sweating bullets. "Um, would you, I mean,
like to, I don't know, get a drink, or, y'know, something?" Ryoko began
smiling evilly.

"You don't usually talk to women, do you?" Geese froze in fear, Ryoko kept
smiling. "Well, you *are* cute. But should I really sleep with a man I just
met?" Geese nearly fainted. "Well, I do like to go crazy every now and
then." Ryoko pressed herself against Geese, putting her hand on his chest.
"Your place or mine?"

"Marklar. Rsniosrdsihj!" Geese said, melting into a puddle of crimelord on
the floor.

"On second thought, you aren't my type. Later." Ryoko walked away, and never
stopped smiling. Five minutes later, the puddle that was Geese reformed back
into Geese, though in a decidedly foul mood.

"Oh, boss, I've been looking for you." Billy said, running up to Geese.
"What's u-" Geese knocked Billy through the back wall of the lounge, and
walked out of the lounge.



"Um, Volt, who or what is Sion about to fight?"

"I don't know, Dominique, but I think Sion is about to have the fight of his
life."



In the crowd, all Sion's friends fainted.


RAZIEL makes SION his bitch 10 votes to 3


"Well, Orlox is on the ropes, but he's pulling out his transformation! Luigi
is about to meet his worst nightmare!"

"Is that legal, Dave?"

"Dan, there isn't a whole lot that *isn't* legal."



"So who wins that one?"

"Orlox endangered the crowd, which is one of the few things that *is*
against the rules, and listen to that cheer." the crowd was chanting Luigi's
name. "Luigi's obviously the crowd favorite." Dave turned the monitor on.
"Sylia, get Luigi some medical attention, and send someone to mop up Orlox.
But *don't* bring him back to life." Dave turned off the monitor.



As the medics wheeled Luigi towards the medical area, they were stopped by
Billy Kane.

"I believe I know a surgeon that can help him." Geese said, walking out from
behind Billy.



"The next fight of the night... Billy Lee versus Kou Leifoh! Battle of the
martial atrists!"

Billy and Kou were already in the ring, doing stretches. They had each heard
that the other was an accomplished martial artist, and were looking forward
to a good fight.

"You ready?" Billy said.

"Yeah, fine. You okay? You taken' your Rogain or whatever?" Kou smiled as he
saw Billy's face slightly turn red.

"Listen, kid, I was beating the crap out of gang members when you were in
diapers."

"And now, I'm beating the crap out of everyone, and you're in diapers."
Billy attacked Kou with a spin kick, ["Now *this* guy's stealing my moves!"]
filled with rage. Kou simply jumped straight into the air and kicked Billy
in the back while he was spinning.

"The second you lose your cool, you lose the battle." Kou said smirking.
Billy began throwing a flurry of punches and kicks at Kou who just dodged,
blocked, and counter-attacked. Billy hit the ground. Hard.

"C'mon, old man. Is this all you've got?" Kou never stopped smirking. Billy
glared at Kou. There had to be a way. There always is. But what... Then it
came to him.

"Oh my God! Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears are making out in the
front row!" Billy said, pointing to the front row.

"Where?! Where?!" by the time Kou realized that he had been had, he knew he
was going to pay.



In a matter of minutes, Kou was kicked, punched, kneed in the groin, jump
kicked, and thrown around like a rag doll. Don't taunt happy fun Billy Lee.

"Alright, perhaps I was a little too careless." Kou said, picking himself
off the mat. "But now, let's just see who the better fighter is." Billy
nodded.

Kou and Billy charged each other. When they met, Kou punched, Billy ducked
and punched Kou in the gut, Kou staggered back but kicked Billy in the shin,
Billy knelt and threw a jumping upper cut which connected, Kou fell back but
managed to punch Billy on his way down, Billy landed uneasily, but regained
his footing and back handed Kou, Kou hit Billy in the face with a hook kick,
Billy kneed Kou in the gut, Kou punched Billy in the groin, Billy flinched
but head-butted Kou, Kou staggered but caught Billy with a hook kick, Billy
used the momentum for a hook kick of his own, Kou came back with a punch to
the face, Billy kicked Kou in the gut, they both grabbed each other with
thier left hands and punched each other with thier right hands, fell back
and jumped at each other, they both kicked but Kou was higher than Billy and
hit him in the face with his foot knocking him out, and the author fainted
from having to make a single sentence that long.

"And your winner by knock out, Kou Leifoh!"



"Grrr." Akuma, master of the dark arts, murderer, and very-not-nice-guy
walked through the hotel in a bad mood. He hadn't been invited to join the
tournament, and the fights just weren't bloody enough. And to top it all
off, he saw a happy puppy. That was a sign that good things were going to
happen, so it was time for Akuma to go home.

When he got to his room to get his single bag [holding an extra gi, and a
copy of "Killing, How to Get the Longest Blood Spurts"], but was surprised
to see a small glob of purple... something in the corner. Of course, he
walked over to check it out.

"What in the name of all the hells?" Akuma touched the glob, and was
immediatly sorry he did. "No... no... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"



"And for the next fight, the battle of the RPG's! Serge versus Zell!"

"Oh, yeah! All the ladies in the house, tell me how much ya love me!" Zell
said as he walked to the ring. The crowd was silent. "Yeah, whatever." Zell
walked in the ring and found Serge was already there.

"Let's make it a good fight, eh? We've got fans to please." Zell said.

"..." Serge responded.

"Are you okay?"

"..."

"Have you lost your voice?"

"..."

"Are you related to a guy named Squall?"

Serge shook his head.

"Huh. Well, I have to kick your ass. No hard fellings?" Serge drew his
weapon and dashed at Zell at top speed, catching him in the gut with the
flat of the blade.

"Why are the non-talkative guys always the strongest?" Zell said. Serge just
shrugged and stabbed at Zell, who rolled to the side and kicked Serge in the
face.



"Well, damn. A fight's erupted in the stands." Dave said, as he turned on
the monitor. "Sylia, break up that fight in the front row. If they're in the
tournament, lock'm up. If their not, kick them out of the universe."

"Is that anything like bouncing? I can see it now: 'We're turning off
gravity. You're screwed. Get out of the universe.' you know you got some bad
luck then." Dan said. Rather than respond, Dave just sat stunned.

"Let me rephrase. If they aren't, kick them back to their own world."

"It was more fun the way I put it."



"Oh, this tournament just went from weird to full blown wacky." Dan said.
Dave just held his head in his hands.



"Dave? Dave? Are you okay?" Dan was shaking Dave, who fainted after watching
the ring get nuked for the second time in one day.

"Ah, well, I guess the judgement call is up to me." Dan swithed on the mic.
"And the winner of the fight [with a little help] Serge!"



"I can't believe Zell lost." Selphie said, pouting.

"He lost because the world is a bleak place. Life is meaningless. Pain is
the only absolute. Pain and sorrow, pain and sorrow." Squall said. Everyone
else just stared.

"Someone hit him. He's stuck again." Quistis said. Half the people standing
around did just that.



"Now that we have replaced the ring [for the second time] it's time for the
next fight! Magikoopa versus Kid!"

"Do we even need to go through the formality of a fight, Dave?"

"Dan, the fans want to see blood. Let's give them blood."


KID beats MAGIKOOPA...

MAGIKOOPA pulls a victory over KID 8 votes to 5

All I have to say is: Wow.


"Y'know, I heard that Magi's one mean mutha SHUT YOU MOUTH! I'm only talkin'
bout Magi! I can dig it." Magikoopa said as he danced around the ring
^_^ing.



"The next fight of the night, Felicia vs. Leena!"

Leena and Felicia were already in the ring, sizing each other up.

"So... you're a cat. Cool. Any reason you aren't wearing clothes?"

"Hey, I look good in fur." Felicia stood up straight. "Besides, cats don't
wear clothes."

"Okay, but you're a few well-placed patches of fur away from embarrassing
yourself."

"I have nothing to be embarrassed over. Maybe you do..." Felicia smirked as
she saw Leena turn red.



Leena ran forward with her new giant spatula [which she had gotten from her
new training partner, Ukyo.] and slashed at Felicia, who just stood still
smiling until the last possible second, when she jumped aside and slashed at
Leena's back.

"I'm too fast for ya, girl. Just give up."

"Not likely." Leena, without even turning around, threw two mini-spatulas
blind at Felicia, who didn't expect the attack and was hit in the gut by
both. Felicia reeled back, but was aware enough to jump over the incoming
swing from Leena.

Leena turned around and charged again, only this time when Felicia jumped
Leena was ready and changed the direction of her swing so that it was going
up and sent Felicia into low Earth orbit.



"MMMMMMMMREEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" Felicia, as cats are known to do, landed
on her feet.

Right on top of Leena. It was not a pretty sight.

"And the winner of the match, Felicia!"



"It's time for the next fight of the night! Wolfwood versus Ranma! And so
you know, Wolfwood's machine gun has been banned from use, and his rocket
launcher will only be firing non-explosive rounds."


RANMA beats WOLFWOOD 9 votes to 4


"It's time for our next fight! Happosai versus Geese!"



The fighters were already in the ring, with Geese glaring hatefully at
Happosai.

"I can't believe that I have to fight an elderly midget. Well, this *is* the
qualifying round." Geese noticed Happosai coming very close to busting a
gut. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Oh, NOTHING!" Happosai said. "After all, I'm just a love machine!" Geese's
eyes went wide. "I'm the life of the party! I'm rich! I'm strong!" Happosai
posed mockingly. "And I'm so afraid of women I nearly peed my pants when
talking to a girl! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Happosai started rolling around
on the mat laughing. He knew it was a mistake when he saw Geese stalking
forward, murder in his eyes.

"MOTHERF-" BAM BAM "SUNOVA-" POW CRUNCH "HOW *DARE* YOU?!" SMACK SMACK "WHEN
I'M DONE WITH YOU-" "OWOWOWOWOWOW!" CRACK CRUCH "DOUBLEREPPUKEN!" SLAM SLAM
"PATHETIC!" POW "SUCK MY-" POW "OOOF!" "TIME TOO FINISH YOU OFF!"

Geese palmed Happosai's head in one hand and threw him straight up into the
air and charged his energy. As Happosai was about to hit the ground, Geese
pointed his palms to the ground.

"RAGING STORM!"

When Happosai finally landed, he was a tangled, bloody mess.



"mutter mumble grunt Gotta go kick Billy around." Geese said as he left the
arena.



"And now, Remy, the angsty French asskicker, versus Wesker, everyones
favorite backstabber."

"Don't make me come up there." Wesker said, glancing at the announcers
booth.

Wesker sized up the lanky blue haired teen in front of him. This would be
too easy.

"Alright you two, you know the rules. There are none. Now fight!"

Remy suddenly found Wesker's fist in his gut, and fell to the ground.

[No one's... that fast.] Remy thought, gasping for breath.

"Try that again." Remy growled standing up.

"Okay." Wesker said, charging at Remy for the second time at blinding speed.
He made full contact with... Remy's wrist. Remy then hit him in the chin
with a Rising Rage Flash [That's a somersault-type kick for you newbies.].
Wesker hit the ground hard but was back up almost immediatly.

"How did you do that?" Wesker asked. His shades had fallen off, revealing
his cat-like eyes.

"It's called a parry. I've got plenty more." Remy made a "come on" gesture
with his hand.

Wesker charged again, but as he got to Remy he changed directions, circled
him and punched Remy in the back. Remy fell to his hands and knees, but
swept Weskers feet out from under him with a kick. Both men backed away to
regroup.

"I hope charging around like an idiot isn't the only thing you can do."

"Shut up. I've killed better men than you."

"Were they drunk at the time?"

Wesker walked forward and threw a punch at Remy, who just parried and hit
Wesker with another Rising Rage Flash. Wesker slowly picked himself up and
didn't notice the ring of light flying towards him until it was too late.
The projectle attack hit him full force in the face. Wesker jumped to his
feet, then jumped off the mat so that he was in front of one of the
spotlights, blinding Remy who was watching him.

"Damn you." Remy said, rubbing his eyes. Wesker came down with a kick to the
gut, sending Remy across the ring. Wesker was back on him in a second,
landing several vicious punches to Remy's head. Wesker then tossed Remy back
to the other side of the ring.

"This is where you die." Wesker said stalking forward.

"Try it." Remy said, standing still. Wesker charged again, intending to take
off Remy's head with the next punch. Wesker was so blind with anger he
didn't notice Remy glow blue. When the punch connected, Remy immediatly
countered with a string of seven attacks, ending with a Rising Rage Flash
that sent Wesker flying.

"I... can't... lose..." Wesker said, trying to stand.

"Sure you can." Remy casualy walked to where Wesker was laying and kicked
him full force in the face, knocking him out.

"And the winner! Remy!"



MEANWHILE:

Backstage, Dan was helping Blanka warm up.

"Well, Jimmy, are you up for the fight?"

"Ugh, woo woo RAA!"

"Wow, I never thought about that."

"Ugh ugh ugh."

"Okay, but where would we get that many field mice?"

"Wooooooooo, raa raa, ugh."

"We do *what* with the honey?"

"Blanka, it's time for your fight." a secretary said peeking through the
door.

"Ugh."

"Well, good luck Jimmy." Dan said. Blanka just smiled. Which is hard to
tell, being Blanka and all.



IN SHOA KHAN'S LAIR:

"TOASTY!" Shao Khan yelled.

"Yes, this is the best toast I've ever had!" Sindel said, smiling.



"Quick! Get a camera man in there!" Dave yelled over the intercom. "We need
this on film! Well, who IS willing to do it? Okay, send in PJ."


SCORPION beats the hell *into* BLANKA 8 votes to 5


"Now, the next fight of the night! Guybrush Thriftweed-"

"THREEPWOOD!"

"Oops. Guybrush Threepwood versus Meryl Silverbergh!"

Meryl slowly walked into the ring, trying to see who she was going to fight.
Guybrush was still backstage. "Hey, Otacon, is the link working?"

"Yes, the codec is working fine." Otacon said through the codec.

"What can you tell me about my opponent?"

"Nothing."

"What?!"

"I'm sorry! I looked through the entire computer database and found nothing
other than his name and a few vital stats, like address and stuff. I
couldn't find out anything helpful, other than his job."

"What's that?"

"He's a pirate. Been one for a few years now."

"Then he must know hand-to-hand pretty well..."

"Don't worry about it Meryl." Solid Snake said through the codec. "You'll be
able to take this guy, just remember your training. Don't let him intimidate
you, no matter how mean, nasty, vicious, big, ugly, or strong he may be."

"I am Guybrush Threepwood! A mighty pirate!" Guybrush yelled, as he made his
swashbuckling debut by swinging in on a rope. Unfortunatly, he swashed when
he should have buckled and wound up falling face first to the mat. He slowly
pulled all 5'8, 150 pounds of himself off the mat. "It's okay, I'm alright,
it's okay."

"On second thought, I could just kick him once, watch him pass out, and call
it a day." Meryl said. When she found out he was a pirate, she was expecting
someone vagely pirate-looking. Not a averagely built man with a loose
fitting white shirt and black pants, who looked more like a
sixteenth-century flooring inspector.

"Look why don't you just hit the mat, and walk away without any bruises."
Meryl said.

"Hey! I'm as good a fighter as any of the people here!" Guybrush wailed.

"Oh, yeah, how do you train, by lifting feathers?"

"How appropriate, you fight like a cow."

"What?" Meryl said, confused.

"Listen, I'M not backing down. If you want to run, I'm sure everyone will
understand..."

"Fine. If you're THAT eager to go to the emergency room..." Meryl threw a
haymaker at Guybrush, which connected. Guybrush went flying to the other
side of the ring.

"Papashui." He @_@ed. "Looks like I'll have to use this move early. Taste my
new special technique, RUBBER-CHICKEN-WITH-A-PULLEY-IN-THE-MIDDLE!" Guybrush
reached into his pants, pulled out a
rubber-chicken-with-a-pulley-in-the-middle, and threw it at Meryl, hitting
her right in the face, with a *THWACK!*"

"Mpf!" Meryl ripped the chicken off her face just in time to get tripped and
fall flat on her face.

"Ha. Are you willing to give up yet?"

"You..." Meryl growled. "I'm gonna-"

"RUBBER-CHICKEN-WITH-A-PULLEY-IN-THE-MIDDLE!" *THWACK!*

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!" Meryl ripped of the rubber-chicken-with-a you know what
I'm getting at here, and charged at Guybrush. She landed a punch to the gut,
a right hook, left hook, and ended the combo with an upper cut that sent
Guybrush flying ten feet into the air.

"I didn't know I could do that." Meryl @_@ed.

"My NaMe Is BobBIn THReaDBarE. Are yOU mY mOthEr?" Guybrush said, as he got
up. He was immediatly punched right back down.

"Why is all this wierd shit happening?" Meryl asked no one in particular.

"It's cartoon rules." Dave said over the intercom. "Guybrush lives by
cartoon rules, and therefore so does this fight."

"Um, okay, what are cartoon rules again?" Meryl said.

"This." Guybrush said, reaching into his pants and pulling out a cannon [not
HIS cannon, A cannon]. Moments later, a charred and smoking Meryl was blown
into the stands.

"YES! Now you have all witnessed my power!" Guybrush said, raising his
hands, which caused his pants to drop.



MEANWHILE, IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM:

"That's right! No one thought I could do it, but I won my fight!" Magikoopa
said into his microphone. He had called a press conference to celebrate, and
more than a few people stopped by to see the underdog of the tournament.

"And why did I win? Because AH AM THU CHOZUN WON! And I'm just so damn
pretty!" Magikoopa began pointing to various women in the room. "And you
know I'm pretty! And you know I'm pretty! And I'm prettier that you! Now,
for my encore, I'm going to lock the doors and whup the ass of everybody in
here! Cause I'm-" *WUMP*

The "WUMP" you just heard was caused by a one ton weight falling on
Magikoopa's head.

"Oh my God! They killed Magikoopa!" Ryu yelled.

"HOORAY!" the peasants rejoiced.


UKYO inflates PACMAN 7 votes to 6

IGGI buries REVOLVER OCELOT 7 votes to 6


"Ladies and gentleman, the last fight before we take a short break, Rock
Howard versus King!"

Rock and King walked out to the ring, waving to the crowd. As they climbed
into the ring, they began sizing each other up.

"So, kid, what's your name again? I heard them say 'Howard' but that can't
be right." King said.

"My name's Rock Howard. Why do you want to know?"

"Are you... related to Geese Howard?"

"Enough chit-chat. We're here to fight." Rock threw a reppuken for good
measure, King threw a double strike, the first projectile hitting the
reppuken, the second sailing under the now-airborn Rock. Rock came down with
a foot aimed at King, who dodged but tried for a roundhouse kick, which Rock
caught. He then threw King across the ring. King recognized this as the
Shinkuu Nage.

[So, he IS related to Geese. I didn't know Geese had a son. What's he doing
here?] King thought as she pulled herself up. She looked to Rock, and
noticed he wasn't attacking. He was letting her get up. [Well, he's not much
like his father.]

Once King was on her feet, Rock charged forward with a Hard Edge [a charging
elbow]. King sidestepped and kicked Rock in the gut. Rock staggered back,
but hit King in the face with a right hook. King leaped into the air and
tried a jump kick, but was knocked right back down by a Rising Tackle.

[Now he's using one of Terry's moves. How did he learn this stuff? I'll have
to ask him after I beat him.] King slowly picked herself off the mat,
staring at Rock. "All right, kid, not bad. But how about-"

King didn't finish her sentence, instead she backflipped, then launched
herself at Rock, trying to catch him in the Illusion Dance. Rock caught her
foot, shifted himself around and grabbed the back of her coat with his other
hand, and slammed her head first into the mat with all his might.

King looked like she was going to need serious help getting up.

"And the winner is, Rock Howard!" the crowd went wild.



"You weren't bad. I was just better." Rock said, as he began to walk away.

"VENOM STRIKE!" Rock hit his knees in pain as the projectile hit him square
in the back. King ran right up to him and used a Trap Shot, sending him
right back across the ring.

"I won't lose. For JAN!" King charged Rock with everything she had, Rock
stood.

"SHINE..." Rock flew forward, surrounded by energy, with his fist extended.
He hit King right in the jaw.

"KNUCKLE!" Rock hit King in the face with his other elbow then flipped
forward in mid-air [completely defying physics] and hit her with a Rising
Tackle.

Rock landed on his feet, slightly winded. King didn't do so well.



"Ladies and gentlmen, after a short break we're going to start the next set
of matches."



"I can't believe King lost!" in another part of the lounge, a young blonde
man wearing a kilt and a black shirt with the Atari symbol was tearing up a
ticket stub. "I had money on her!"

"I told you Aaron." said the young man sitting beside Aaron. He had brown
hair and blue bangs. He was wearing black pants, and a plain green shirt
with a "1" on it.

"I told you that King couldn't fight her way out of a wet, old paper bag."

"Shut up Dan! King rules!"

"You shut up! In the end, she lost, so who was right?"

Aaron reached for his drink, but was too busy glaring at Dan and
accidentally spilt it on Dan. "Oh... dude... I'm sorry..."

"You, sir, have offended me. Prepare to face your doom!" Dan was surrounded
by a blue glow and the number on his shirt changed to a "2".

"Going stage two isn't going to scare me, Dan. Face MY power!" Aaron reached
behind him and pulled a paintball gun from seemingly nowhere, and pointed it
directly at Dan's face. He was slightly shaken when he realized that *he*
was also staring down the barrel of a paintball gun, held by Dan.

They stood silent for a moment, pointing their paintball guns at each others
heads. [John Woo, eat your heart out.]

"Don't make me drop you, Aaron."

"I'd like to see you try."


AUTHORS NOTES:

If I had known writing all these fights was going to be this long, I would
have made the tournament shorter. ^_^;;

For my first batch of votefic fights, I'd say it wasn't a *complete*
disaster.

Well, I'd like to thank the mysterious OgOpOgO- for proof-reading, SniperCT
for hosting the fic, and everyone who voted [you know who you are] for
helping to make this tourament so damn cool. :)

I would also like to thank Racewing for graciously linking here. He has his
own votefic, which we should be linking on the influence page.

And of course, Aaron and Dan of ClanBOB [ http://clanbob.net ]who are
letting me use their characters. If you haven't already, read their webcomic
Life of Riley. It's one of the best comics on the internet.

If you like what you read, contact me at xftvoting@hotmail.com with
comments, suggestions, and pictures of your hot sisters [or, if you are a
hot sister,pictures of yourself], among other things. :)

***

TOTAL VOTES: 13

BEST VOTER QUOTES:

Felicia [Darkstalkers] Vs. Leena [ChronoChross]

"Felicia! - Yeah, now we are talking... Felicia is all naked and stuff...
Leena is from a Chrono game... I don't know who Leena is... but she couldn't
possibly be that naked... er I mean good... at fighting... yeah."

Yes, we all know what you mean. :)

Billy Lee VS Kou

"While the hair is cool, and it should assure victory, tattoos can win
a fight faster than hair. Kou gets the vote."

This, of course, leaves open the question of why Ranma always wins his
fights even though he doesn't have a very good hair style, or any tatoos...

INTERESTING NOTE: Guybrush Vs. Meryl

Most of the votes Guybrush got were becuase the voters were annoyed by
Meryl. Appearently, the "Meryl dies" ending in Metal Gear Solid is the most
popular one.

SEE YOU NEXT ROUND!

Ice Fenix, severly tired author.
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